He Hears Our Prayers

By Jud C.

About eight years ago, I found myself in a situation in which I was so desperate I was at the end of my proverbial rope. Through it I learned a valuable lesson. As Christians, we need to be able to embrace our own fallibility, especially in situations that are too complex for us to understand and too emotionally charged for us to think through clearly.

It was 1999 and I was living alone in Columbia, South Carolina. My parents lived in Greensboro, North Carolina. I knew that the relationship between my parents was strained and complicated (like many relationships). Only recently had I learned it had become completely broken. The newest crisis was the result of a frightening and dangerous combination--my father's depression had reached the point where he began to contemplate suicide and my mother's alcoholism was making the situation at home unbearable.

In February of that year I received what was, in essence, a suicide note from my father. It was handwritten and explained that as far as he "knew" he was in "good health," and what he wanted done with his remains if "anything should happen" to him. I immediately called my brother to discuss the letter and we agreed that every gun should be removed from my parent's house. I also suggested that I come at once to Greensboro, but my brother felt that my presence might make the situation more tense. Grudgingly, I agreed to wait, on the condition that he would keep me updated.

Two weeks later, I received a phone call from my mother who was completely overcome with emotion and shared about years of pain and disappointment. She was also convinced that everyone was out to get her and that I was the only one she trusted. Trying my best to reassure her with calm responses, I felt my own emotions begin to spiral out of control. This was too much for me to handle. Who would help me think through what to do next? Who would coach me on what to say? How would I prevent my fears from overwhelming me so that at the critical moment, my intervention would make the situation better, not worse?

The only real support system in my life at the time was a friend who had been inviting me to attend church with her for several months. We had joined a small group, but my guard was always up and sharing these matters with people I did not know very well seemed inappropriate. I had bowed my head during prayer, but up to that point in life, I did not really understand who I was praying to or why. It would all become clear to me as I drove to North Carolina with absolutely no idea what I would say or do when I saw my parents.

I remember becoming so overwhelmed with emotion that the tears were making it hard to see the road ahead. I was completely exhausted. It was at that point that I cried out to God and said, "I can't handle this. I give this entire mess to you!"

I wish I could say that the entire situation was made better in that one moment. I wish I could say that I was given some divine set of instructions for how to cure 30-40 years of deep suffering caused by events that happened before I was born. I cannot say that. However, I can say that I felt a little of the pressure lift in the car that afternoon. Also, as the days ahead unfolded, I was able to think a bit more clearly. As a family, and with God in control, we were able to avert a terrible crisis. I now know that the words of King David are as true for me as they were for him. "The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:17-18).