Sermon: "Loving When It Hurts"

3rd in the "Ready for Real Life" series.
Delivered February 24, 2008 by Rev. George Antonakos.
Other sermons in this series - 1 / 2 / 3 / 6 / 7

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We are continuing a series called "The Secret of Life". It's kind of a play off of the book The Secret, which has some good things in it, but then some things that don't align with scriptures in our opinion and so what is the real secret to life? That is what we are looking at and we are looking at a very challenging passage today. Let me just start with this little story about a child who is doing her history homework and she asks her mother, "How did war begin?" And her mom says, "Well honey WWII began when Germany invaded Belgium." Her dad was in the same room and he chimes in "That wasn't it." Annoyed by the intrusion the mother says, "Sally did not ask you. She asked me." Father's turn and he says, "True, but I tell her the facts" And the mother's turn, "Well why do you always interfere? Who asked you anyway?" And they go back and forth like this and finally Sally says, "It's alright mom, I think I know how wars begin."

Well it's too bad that Sally's teachable moment came as it did and we can all relate to being in those kinds of conversations or having heard them too much. To label that kind of conversation would be to call it the cycle of retaliation. A lot of people and Hollywood stars have gotten rich on our human propensity to gravitate towards this whole thing; you know people like Charles Bronson and Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme. It seems like all of their movies are the same; somebody has something really terrible happen to them at the beginning and the whole rest of the movie is their taking revenge and there we are saying, "Get em. That's awesome. Yeah, get those guys." And this is the kind of movies that we like kind of cheer for and its true, but sometimes we do that because there is something inside of us that desires justice, but again there is also that sense of revenge, which is something that obviously God does not want for us.

And so there is nothing more familiar in the human condition than reacting to an offense. Nobody has to teach us how to do that. We just are natural at it, which is why the text that we are now going to read is so difficult to hear, because many times when we hear it read or we read it ourselves, its very easy to understand a reaction that will sound something like "Wow, did Jesus really mean this? Is it possible that he really meant this" because it is so unbelievably challenging and it has the golden rule in it; do unto others as you would have others do unto you, but it is much more than that. And so, let's pray and then we will read Luke 6, Verse 27 to 36 together.

Lord, thank you for this day and for this word and we pray that as stretching and challenging as it is, that we will understand your spirit speaking to us so that it won't just be a human word being preached, but your word to our hearts that transforms us and we pray it in Christ's' name. Amen.

It's on page 729 if you want to follow in the red pew Bible or just watch it on the screen.

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others, as you would have them do to you. "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

The first seven words of this text are Luke's very abbreviated way of capturing wht I think Matthew's Sermon on the Mount constantly repeats. Jesus says "You have heard it said of old but I say to you these first seven words, "But I tell you who hear me" have the implication of not only who listen, but I tell you who hear me and desire to obey a new way; a new way that will free you from the cycle of retaliation. Jesus really did mean what he was saying. The old way in the time of Jesus was the law of retaliation, lex talionnes. Injurer should be injured in exactly the same way as far as this is possible, as they had injured. Reciprocity through equalization. And if you think about it in many ways, this was a great advance of civilization, because it limited retaliation. You break my arm; I only get to break one of yours. I can't break two. Okay in some ways it would escalate things, but still not the goal. And so hear to something about non-retaliation when Jesus was teaching this was so foreign and then he takes it up a notch and he says, "Not only are you not to retaliate, you are to love, do good toward, bless and pray for your enemies." That is unimaginable and for many today it still is unimaginable.

Martin Luther King understood the power of this kind of love. He knew that the cycle of retaliation as he was leading the Civil Rights movement had to be broken and it could only be broken by a power greater than like for like, than hate for hate. And so I want you to take a look at this clip from one of his messages. There is a little bit of a voiceover narration and some of it is hard to pick up. It's an old audio but you will see from the pictures and hopefully you will pick the salient, but hopefully you will pick up the key points that he is trying to say.

Movie clip: "King evokes the Christian document love. This meant maintaining compassion for the white people of Montgomery while fighting a discriminatory system. He loves the person and hates the evil deed and I think this I what Jesus meant when he said love your enemies and I am happy that he didn't say like your enemies, because it is pretty difficult to like some people. It's difficult to like people burning your home and threatening your children and kicking you about, but Jesus says love them and love is greater than life. Love is understanding creating redemptive goodwill for all men and I always have to stop and try to define the meaning of love in this area and interestingly enough, Greek philosophy comes to our aid at this point. Agape is more than friendship. Agape is not something of _affection. Agape is understanding creative redemptive goodwill to all men. It is an overflowing love that seeks nothing in return. Theologians would say that it is the love of God operating in the human heart. When one rises to love on this level, he loves me not because he likes them, but he loves every man because God loves him."

He loves them not because he likes them, but because God loves them. Only through the power of God's Spirit in Jesus can we love like this. Now I don't think we should make the mistake of thinking as we look at these verses that Jesus is giving us new laws to follow, as though okay if I do exactly what Jesus is saying here, I will be okay. I mean just think if you could muster up the energy and the resolve to truly turn the other cheek and then say, okay I have kept what Jesus said now I can knock his block off, okay? Because I did what Jesus said. That's not obviously what this is about.

I love what Dallas Willard says in his Divine Conspiracy when he tries to boil of this teaching down to this point. That in essence he says we are to remain vulnerable, to not take our defense into our own hands. But still there are limits. Each of us in any given situation has to think what would the most Godly response be and still be trying to be a disciple of Jesus. If somebody is slapping at us is it okay to go like this? Is it alright? Sure. And Jesus never says turn someone else's cheek. He never says make somebody else vulnerable. If turning another cheek means great harm to me or someone that I love, self-defense would be a logical reaction and response. But I think what Jesus is driving down for is that part of us that desires personal retaliation; a desire to get even is a very different thing than just putting up your arms when someone is trying to hurt you. It's this spirit of retaliation that's contrary to the way God treats the ungrateful and the wicked. Because anger feeds on anger and those who torment us are counting on resistance to keep their tormenting alive. And that's the power of Dr. King's teaching and tactics. Hopefully, over time, it was a long time, but over time attackers come to understand that they are the ones who really are not in control. They are the ones who are weak not strong.

Jesus goes on to underscore his call to radical love by challenging his hearers and us to think about this. The worst of sinners do good and lend to the worst of sinners as a natural way of being. A Mafia hit man is going to do good or lend to another Mafia hit man because they have some expectation of reciprocity. So big deal Jesus says in essence.

And so in Verse 35 he repeats himself and he says love your enemies because why? Because your reward will be great. What is that reward? Well you will be expressing the very likeness of God and you will be family members who enjoy God's love and care no matter what happens. God is with you in a way that goes beyond the norm of experiencing God when we respond as he does. You see love is not simply ignoring or forgetting about our offenders. We can all compare ourselves to those who nurse their hatred and think we are okay. Like a tribe in Indonesia that's always fighting and in their culture and its their custom to keep reminders of their hatred hanging from the rafters of their huts so they keep the memories of the wrongdoing alive whether it's a weapon or a bone or whatever it keeps it alive. It keeps that hatred stirring. We are tempted to hang things in the roof of our own minds and so we think that we are being spiritual if we can just put somebody out of mind. He does not retaliate. We think that is the goal many times. But what can happen is that we are reminded of the rat or scoundrel or whoever it was and we say when that person's name comes up or when that situation ... "Don't get me started" and we start to tap into that and we start feeling the offense again as though it happened yesterday.

Dallas Willard also has this great sentence in one of his passages in the Divine Conspiracy. He says, "Few of us manage to go through life without collecting a group of individuals who would not be sorry to learn that we have died." And I thought to myself yeah I guess there are people like that; that if I died there would be a few people who wouldn't be sorry I think. I am thinking of one and I have shared this with you before about this one fellow who was somebody who gave me a bit of a difficult time when I was pastoring my first congregation and you know I remember telling you about putting hate mail in the offering plate and then he put a hate term paper between my storm door and front door and you know God helped me through all of that and if something happened to him I would be okay. I think I would be a little sorry. Anyway, he lived on a cross street of North Fourth Street that runs through Sunberry and one time I was traveling south on this street and he happened to come out to the corner. There is a stop sign very close to the corner and there were some weeds growing up at the base of the stop sign and he took it upon himself to do this beautification project and so he is stooping down at the base of this stop sign just about a foot from the curb and I can see him from about a block or two away. Well I am ashamed to say you are already ahead of me aren't you? That the thought crossed my mind to sneeze you know or hiccup or something and swerve; not to kill, but to maim. That was my thought. It was very fleeting. It was very quick. And if I did that and I went around saying "Well, hey at least I didn't clip the guy. Look at me I am a pretty good Christian."

I don't think that is what Jesus is talking about, because our Lord wants us to be free within. He wants us to be released from the downward spiral of bitterness, bondage and misery. So how do you do that? Well Paul was trying to get this across to his friends in Rome and he just started to mingle in Romans 12, all the teachings of Jesus with a call to community and like every other verse in Romans 12, like 14 to 21 is this back and forth, remember what Jesus said, practice hospitality. He says things like this; "Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse." Straight from the Sermon on the Mount; "Do not repay anyone evil for evil" he said. "Do not take revenge my friends, but on the contrary if your enemy is hungry, feed him. Thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this you will heap burning coals upon his head."

One time I saw a church sign that said, "Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads." There is something about this breaking the law and cycle of retaliation that when love meets hate those who are consumed by hate, that something about that power causes a break in that cycle and a self examination and perhaps a burning within them saying "What am I doing" and he ends in Verse 21 of Chapter 12 in Romans "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." That's the only way to trounce evil and how do we do that? What's the greatest good that Jesus teaches us? The greatest good that we can do with sincerity of heart is to pray for another. What should we pray? We should pray that God will bless them, that God will do good to them. Whenever I have done this I felt some kind of release. I can't explain it.

Last night when I was finishing up for today I got to thinking about the implications of all of this and said, "Can I pray for terrorists?" I mean it wasn't like asking permission, but it was like can I pray for terrorists. And I tried; I tried to get in my mind people filled with hatred and starting to think about praying for them and I actually could verbalize it over a few minutes, but it was very hard and there was really no emotion connected to that. But every time we somehow pray for our enemies something is released. Something happens inside of us to free us.

A great preacher from generations past named Evie Hill, an African-American preacher, just an awesome preacher; I still remember having cassette tapes 35 years ago listening to him and he preached a sermon once called "When was God at his Best?" And he just does a marvelous job in a way that only he could do it going through the scriptures and he kept asking the question, "When was God at his Best?" "Was God at his best in creation when he formed worlds out of nothing?" No that is not when God was at his best. He kept doing this. Was God at his best when he parted the Red Sea and freed the children of Israel? No, that was not when God was at his best. Was God at his best when he filled the temple or when he came down from Sinai with ...No, that is not when God was at his best. Was God at his best when he came as a little baby in to Bethlehem? No, that is not when God was at his best. When he taught his disciples on the Sermon on the Mount? No. On he went. Then he said, "God was at his best when hanging from a cross, he said, "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing." But he didn't stop there. He said, "God was at his best when he spoke to my heart, I forgive you of your sins. I take away the scars and the death of your past." That's when God is at his best. God is always at his best when his grace touches the heart of someone who didn't know what they were doing and they believe.

So we always have a choice in the power of the spirit to forgive or retaliate, to bless or to curse, to give or to withhold. I want to show you just one more clip from a movie called, "To End all Wars" and maybe some of you have seen it. It is a true story. This is not made up stuff that you are seeing. They might have tweaked it a little bit here and there, but this is a true story. It's about a group of allied soldiers and a Japanese prisoner of war camp who seriously ask the question, "What is it that it means to love our enemies in this hell hole" and through the movie you see that they gather over the scriptures and even have communion together and they try to be a community of faith in the most horrid conditions and towards the end of the movie Japanese injured prisoners are brought within the confines of the camp, the commandant of the camp doesn't even want them in their because of diseases and all of that and so there is this struggle between those, Ernest Gordan, who is the lead character in this clip especially and you see different responses to what should we do to love our enemies in this case. So take a look at it and see.

Movie clip: "An enemy location was also hit nearby and the wounded had abandoned their posts looking for help. Their arrival to our camp would compel us to make the most important decisions of our lives, a decision that would defy the _??_ code of honor and shame. Captain Gordon, did you think I come from the aid of the enemy? Those are wounded, dying human beings. They are no harm to us. Get back to your own men. Can someone please get me some water? Can someone please get me some water?

(song, not transcribed)

That's a very powerful clip and I remember how moving it was the first time I saw it and I realize that it is a very different context than any of us are in, but the principles apply, whether the person that you need to deal with is a member of your own family or a former member of your family or someone who has hurt you deeply in the past. I saw three responses. I saw continued resistance and again understanding that context to have that one fellow turn and just not be a part of it was one choice. Another one was for others it was like they were just sitting on a fence and then for others it seemed like they clearly took a step in faith believing that that was what God was calling them to do as much for themselves, as for their enemies.

So I want to provide a little time for us to respond to the scriptures and to the word. Near the center of the aisle there are a few pieces of paper that you can use if you would like to as a tool, just grab one and pass it down to those in your pew. Like all responses we want there to be a sense of freedom and liberty with it. You don't have to use it if you don't want to of course. You may use it as a note to someone that never gets mailed; maybe you will mail it. I don't know. Maybe you could use it as instead of a note to someone, maybe a prayer for someone and this someone may be someone living or someone not living. Some of the most powerful experiences I have had with people is to have them pen a letter and then I have taken them to a graveside of someone that they had a hard time forgiving and just had them read the letter; a lot of tears, a lot of tears, but something healing takes place and I offer that to anybody who wants to do that. But, use this tool in this time of silence to ask God what is it that you are speaking to me in response to this word. So I will allow for some silence and then the band is just going to play a song that will allow you to interweave your response with the song and just pray for God's Spirit to speak to each of us.

© 2008, Rev. George Antonakos
Central Presbyterian Church, Baltimore, MD 21204 410/823-6145
www.centralpc.org