Sermon: "Anxiety of Choosing"

2nd in the "What Keeps You Up At Night?" series.
Delivered October 18, 2009 by Rev. George Antonakos.
Sermon Text: Acts 1:15-17,21-26

Click to download & listen to the sermon MP3

Where do we get all these good actors? I don't know, but that was great. What a great way of helping us understand today's topic about the "Anxiety of Choosing."

Again, last week if you were here you remember me mentioning that I've had dreams waking up with my bed right here. And I was thinking of another time just looking at this skit again when I was... I remember Ellen and I had just left Campus Crusade for Christ. We didn't know what we were going to do. We were sitting in bed, and I was looking in the back of Christian magazines for jobs. And I just had this terrible... I mean exactly, exactly what the woman in the drama was going through. So that really helps us to think about how to deal with this anxiety.

You're not going to believe this, but this past week an elder of this congregation threatened me with torture, not just me, threatened Pastor John and by implication Pastor Laura, too. I can't even tell you what forms of torture he was describing if we would not, somewhere in the next week or two or three, say something about C. S. Lewis' take on the whole issue of anxiety.

I'm not going to tell you who it was, but his initials are Charles Bailey. Okay? Can you imagine that... good ole Charles... not Charles. So, to avoid torture and to introduce today's topic about choosing, which has so much focus on outcomes in the future, I'm going to distill a point of The Screwtape Letters. The demon... If you don't know about The Screwtape Letters, it's a demon who is writing to his underlings on how to keep Christians off balance. And so Screwtape says, and I'm paraphrasing, "If we really want to throw humans into a tailspin when it comes to making decisions, keep them either looking backwards through nostalgia, or keep them in a state of anxiety looking forward."

Why? Because God cannot be primarily found in the past or in the future, but only in the present. That's where we interact with the enemy. That's where they interact with the enemy. "So they won't find rest or peace or joy if we can keep them in pursuit of a rainbow's end. We want to keep humans hag-ridden by the future so that they will break the enemy's commands in the present trying to secure that future for themselves."

I'm not sure if you feel hag-ridden today about any major life decisions. I mean some of you may feel like totally twisted in a knot about what to do like the drama said. Others of you may, you know, your biggest decision was what to have for breakfast today. I don't know. You may be somewhere in between, whether it's about schooling or job choice or career path, engagements, marriage, remarriage, should we have or should we adopt children? Should we relocate?

I'm amazed at how many people have come through Central, even in the last few years, people who have gotten so invested in ministry and now they've relocated somewhere else. They felt God has called them. Even the Glad Tidings Project... Meredith Loveless was the one who orchestrated two summers ago, our whole fair out in the back 40 here. And she's gone. Now they live in Kentucky. People making major, major life decisions because they feel like God is calling them to do that.

But what really gets us twisted in knots is when we come to a fork in the road or a cross roads, and we feel like all these decisions, I mean they're kind of equally okay. We don't know whether we should choose door A, door one, or door two, or door three. We can feel like we're in the middle of a nightmare game show.

What if I make the wrong choice? How do I know what to do to make the right choice? Well, today's passage in Scripture points to some of these concerns. And the scene that we're going to read about takes place between two very huge spiritual events. One is the ascension of Jesus into heaven 40 days after his resurrection. We're going to look in the beginning of the book of Acts. And then on the other side of this scene that we're about to look at, is Pentecost, the day when the Holy Spirit came and birthed the church.

And in between there is a sense of the need to seek. Now you wouldn't think in between these two huge events when there is such intense spiritual presence that anybody would need to seek or ask or struggle or wrestle with anything. But in fact, that's what we find the apostles doing... exactly that as they were seeking guidance. And they sought it. And how they sought it can help us understand how God can guide us today.

We're going to look on page 993 in the Bibles under the chairs there. I invite you to turn to it. It's going to go from 993 over to 994, starting in verse 15, but let's pray just before we read the text.

Lord, we can come to you in all sorts of confusion and misunderstanding, and so that's why we open your Word. And we pray that your Spirit and your Word would combine to lead us to choose wisely, to take another step to consider what it is that you're calling us to. We pray it in your name, Amen.

"In those days Peter stood up among the believers (a group numbering about a hundred and twenty) and said, 'Brothers, the Scripture had to be fulfilled which the Holy Spirit spoke long ago through the mouth of David concerning Judas, who served as guide for those who arrested Jesus - he was one of our number and shared in this ministry.'"

And skipping a narrative parenthesis, we go to verse 20.

"'For,' said Peter' it is written in the book of Psalms, 'May his place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell in it,' and, 'May another take his place of leadership. 'Therefore it is necessary to choose one of the men who have been with us the whole time the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, beginning from John's baptism to the time when Jesus was taken up from us. For one of these must become a witness with us of his resurrection.'

So they proposed two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias. Then they prayed, 'Lord, you know everyone's heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.' Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles."

This section is about choosing. This Scripture is about choosing. Judas chose poorly. The disciples and the apostles are trying to choose wisely. It shows clearly that all of our weighty choices will undoubtedly have ripples for good or for ill.

So very often our sense or need for guidance happens because somebody else makes a poor choice... a spouse makes an unwise choice, perhaps becomes unfaithful. A friend keeps choosing an addiction. A company closes. A pink slip is tendered. Or somebody can make a good choice. Feeling called by God they'll, like I was saying earlier, they'll just go to be somewhere else. They'll be called to go overseas. And we miss their company, and we don't like it and it causes us to choose about certain things. Or perhaps somebody goes to a new place to get training or a new opportunity. Or we just get tired of a particular situation and we sense that perhaps it's God calling us to take another step and we wonder how much initiative we should take to go in that other direction.

Well let's look at how the apostles dealt with their circumstances and the steps that they took. I'm not saying today that here are three surefire steps that if you do these you're always going to know exactly what to do in every minute, but there are three important steps that they took that we should be applying into our own circumstances whenever we're faced with a decision.

It's tough when those decisions, they just nag out there. So what steps can we take to try to lessen that anxiety? Well the first thing is in the early part of the text, and in trying to figure out what to do, Peter, his first appeal, his first step was to look into the Scriptures. It says right there, "For Peter said, 'It's written in the book of Psalms.'" He was studying the Psalms to try to figure out, make heads or tails, of the decision that Judas made.

Many times we can go to Scripture and justify certain actions, but more often than not, we don't really meditate in the Scripture very much. Only 40 days earlier, Jesus came up alongside two forlorn, sad disciples who thought their whole world had caved in. He came and he spoke to them, and the Bible says that he opened their minds to understand the Scripture. Later on they reflected and they said, "Didn't our hearts burn within us as he was opening up the Scriptures to us on the road?"

It is very clear, I think, that God will never lead us in a direction contrary to Scripture. God will not... the Spirit will not contradict the Word as we take it in. I believe it's the same in terms of understanding God's guidance. Now sometimes God will call us to do something and we may not feel equipped to do it, and he'll give us the equipping. He wants us to just take a step of faith like Moses or like Jeremiah.

Other times, we think that God may be calling us to do something and it's not God at all. If you can't sing a note and you think, and I mean you've tried and everything and you think God is calling you to be on the worship team or sing in the choir... probably not. I mean, it would be crazy if I said, "Well, you know I've thought about it and I'm leaving my role here to attend the next NBA tryout camp. I think I'm going to be playing for the Wizards next year."

It's the same with scriptural guidance. We're not going to see something contradictory. So here is Peter. He is pouring over the Old Testament. He's trying to understand Judas' decisions, and after the resurrection the Psalms become new. He understands who the Messiah is now as he looks at messianic Psalms. And he's looking at Psalm 69 and Psalm 109 and he quotes these verses, "May his place be deserted. Let no one be there to dwell in it. May another take his place of leadership."

So he discerns that a step needs to be taken to fill the vacancy on the basis of Scripture. You know what's chilling is that a person can be around intense spiritual reality like Judas was for three years and not get it, and not open their heart to the reality of God's presence right there.

Calvin commented on this whole thing you know because it's puzzling. It's like... well, Judas was prophesized to do this, so maybe he couldn't help it. He had to do it because it was prophesied. That's a puzzle. But here's what Calvin says. He said, "No, this act wasn't the compulsion of prophesy, but it was through the wickedness of his own heart as the Scripture teaches." So I point that all out to say this... conversely, our choices are not just the dangling of God's puppet string saying, "Do this and do that." They are prompted by the sound wisdom of God's Word and by the inspiration of the Spirit.

So when you think you're getting a sense of guidance from the Holy Spirit and that nudge lines up with things you see in the Scripture, and your giftedness and it leads you to serve others, more than likely you should say yes when all those things align.

In Psalm, chapter 1, verses 1-3, almost without comment, the psalmist says:

"Blessed are those who do not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but who delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on his law day and night. They are like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither - whatever they do prospers."

That's from meditating on God's Word. That's the first thing that Peter did.

The second thing that he did was based on this enlightenment from Scripture was to think through the situation with some common sense parameters. To think of the circumstances, the person needed to have the same experiences as the other apostles, somebody who was tracking with Jesus from the beginning to the end so to speak. And that person could be a qualified witness to fulfill the role.

Then that led them to a common sense nominating process. They came up with two people on the ballot. So you see the nominating committee of the Presbyterian Church has its roots in the wisdom of Scripture. Now in Richard Foster's book Celebration of Discipline, he lists guidance not as an individual discipline. He lists it as a corporate discipline, that it's important to get the guidance and the word from those who best know you.

If you're a student here today and you're trying to figure out what steps you should take, maybe... just maybe, you ought to listen to your parents. Right? Maybe they have some wisdom for you because they know you best. They understand you the best. They've seen you... what motivates you and what doesn't motivate you.

I think about the way I was guided to and through seminary. It was as much a corporate leading by some very good and godly people right here at Central a number of years ago. You know, sometimes we're just called to make a choice based on the flow of circumstances when it aligns with God's Word and other factors.

I remember I was in ministry here. It was about seven years into a youth ministry, and my enthusiasm internally was waning in that particular aspect of ministry. I was being encouraged by those who knew me to prepare for broader ministry. There was a sufficient internal desire. I didn't have any mountaintop experiences, but some folks from Central came along and said, "We'll support you if you think this is the next step to go into seminary education."

And so it wasn't like this major decision. I was kind of kicked through the goal posts of a decision based on the flow of circumstances and everything else that was happening around it.

There have been so many other times. I remember, again when I was in between Campus Crusade and coming here, and sitting in that bed. I remember driving the truck, the Ryder truck from California to come back to Maryland. There was this thought in my head... you're just like Jonah. You're running away from Nineveh. I'm like... where do these thoughts come from? I was just taking the logical next step and it was from God. It was God's leading. It was God's choosing.

So even through seminary, even when I wasn't sure... what should I do? Should I go into the pastorate? Should I not go into the pastorate? You see how that's turned out, but at the time, I was not sure. But through the wise counsel of others, circumstances, Scripture, the next step happened.

So to grow as God desires, we have to think things through, to exercise judgment, to make hard choices. And we won't have complete certainty all the time. Take accountability and learn, and many times the answer from God when we are seeking that guidance will simply be... you choose. You choose. Here are two forks. It's okay. You could take either one.

Here are three pastures... pasture A, pasture B, pasture C. They're all fine. They're all good. You choose. You decide because if the truth be told, sometimes we don't really want guidance, we just want to be spared the anxiety of choosing. I mean, think about a parent and a child again. Most children and most parents don't want to say, "Do this. Do that. Wear this. Wear that. Go here." I mean some parents do, you know. But most parents say, "No, that's not. I want my child to grow into a healthy person." And God wants us to grow and sometimes we have to just choose when he's putting a number of things in front of us.

The third principle, as we can see in the end of the text, is that not only did they base their decisions on Scripture and common sense circumstances of group input, but they prayed. And they prayed. It says, "Lord, you know everyone's heart. Show us which of these two you've chosen to take Judas' place." What a great prayer, "Lord, you know my heart. Show me the next step." God will answer that prayer when we come sincerely.

You know Jesus one time said to his disciples, he said, "If anyone is willing to do my will, if anyone is desirous of pleasing God, he'll know of the next step. He'll know of my teaching." So they cast lots. I'm not suggesting that you draw straws to make big decisions... or flip coins. This was grounded in Old Testament understanding. There is a verse in Proverbs that says, "The lot is cast into the lap, but the decision is wholly from the Lord." So there is a sense in which God is guiding through that process, but it disappeared after Pentecost.

They prayed, "Lord, you're a heart knower. Show us which of these two you have chosen." So on the basis of Scripture, corporate common sense counsel, and listening in prayer, you'll be guided into a sound-mind choice. God has a plan for each of our lives. And that plan is in alignment to his mission.

Now not every person here is going to be called into vocational ministry. I know that. But every person here is called to the vocation of being a witness for Christ, of glorifying God with your decisions and your choices. Think about it... if God wants to partner with human beings to get the mission accomplished, he's going to want to show us exactly the next step that we're to take.

Let me just close with this thought. If you think about the word "guidance." The word "dance" is in guidance, and in good dancing there is a lead and there is a follow. When two people try to lead it doesn't go very well. Things feel stiff and not very much the way they're supposed to. Nothing feels right. But when one person follows, surrenders with a willingness and the other person leads with an attentiveness, a tap on the shoulder, a nudge, then it can be like Fred and Ginger, right? The dance is beautiful.

And just in case you're not sure who should be leading and who should be following, look at the other letters. It's God... is the "G," "U" and "I". God, you and I, we're dancing. Right? That's the leading of the Spirit of God. It's like a dance really. And as you do these three things, Scripture, counsel of others, based on circumstances and others' wisdom, and prayer... and prayer. You will be guided into the steps that God wants for you. Does it mean you'll always make the right choice? Maybe not. But God will even take those failures to help you grow into the person he intended you to be.

On your seat today, or in the pocket right behind your seat there is a prayer card. We're going to pray and respond to this by an offering, but later we're going to read that because it captures so well this whole idea of desiring what God desires. And in the knowledge of that, God will lead every step.

So let's pray: Lord, I thank you that you can minimize the anxiety of choosing in our lives when we take some simple steps, when we look into your Word, when we counsel with others, when we pray. Lord, help us most of all, foremost, to have the desire to do your will. And if that desire is not there, help us be willing to be willing to do what you want us to do. We know that the first and foremost thing that you desire of us is that we would believe in your son. That we would trust that he is the only true guide. And that as we turn our lives over to him, he will make our paths straight. We pray in his name, Amen.

© 2009, Rev. George Antonakos
Central Presbyterian Church, Baltimore, MD 21204 410/823-6145
www.centralpc.org